Maryland Wholesalers vs. Consumers - Part 4.1.08

Well, it seems like the wholesalers have done it again in this great state of Maryland. The anti-shipping lobbyist Bruce Bereano reportedly held a wine-tasting of sorts for state legislatures and wholesalers last evening at his Maryland estate. It was at this tasting that Bearano and wholesalers convinced the state legislatures that in fact, allowing Marylanders to travel to wine regions or restaurants outside of the State of Maryland could possibly cause alcohol to slip into the hands of teenagers. Also, it is reported that Maryland residents may no longer leave the state to spend money on any food or wine, without making contributions to the Bereano lobbyist foundation and sending payments to the starving Maryland wholesalers. I have acquired a list of wines that were tasted, as well as Bereano’s personal tasting notes.

2004 Zima Brut: Sources say the recent classification of these Flavored Malt Beverages as “Beer” was celebrated at the onset of the evening. It is rumored that a group of teenage girls suggested the 2004 vintage over the 2005 (current release) as it’s their preferred beverage of choice. Sadly, the only attendants on hand that enjoyed the flavor and packaging of the Zima were the teenage girls who apparently noted that “all flavored malt beverages are basically made for us- our cheerleading team loves them, hee hee hee…”

2005 Fat Bastard Chardonnay: This lightly oaked chardonnay was well received by the crowd, of whom many seemed to relate to the labeling.

1940 Nero di Preddapio: This wine which is a tribute to fascist leader Benito Mussolini was apparently a huge favorite of this crowd. As they drank the wine, Bereano was said to have led a march around his home wearing full military fatigues and carrying the US Flag.

2002 Rude Boy Chardonnay: This South African Chardonnay was on hand, but the corks were never removed. It was reported that many of the lobbyists and legislatures were seen carrying the bottles around and “taking in” the label art. One was seen licking the label, but no tasting notes provided.

2002 Riverbank Estate JAILBIRD Red: A blend of Cabernet, Pinot Noir, and Zinfandel, this was said to be Bereano’s favorite. Jammy and overconcentrated, apparently this wine has been Bereano’s favorite since the 2000 lawsuit which stated the following (all factual with support from this reference):

Attorney Grievance Commission v. Bereano,
2000.MD.0042013 (Md. 01/13/2000)

“Bruce C. Bereano (Bereano), a member of the bar of this Court since 1969, was convicted in the United States District Court for the District of Maryland in November 1994 on seven counts of mail fraud, in violation of 18 U.S.C. §§ 1341 and 1346.”

“The federal indictment alleged that, from May 1990 until June 1991, Bereano “knowingly and willfully devise[d] and intend[ed] to devise a scheme and artifice to defraud” his lobbying clients of money by false pretenses, in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 1341, and to deprive them of their right to his “loyal, faithful, honest, and unbiased service[s],” in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 1346. *fn2″”

It’s this disloyal, lying, deceiving man who is currently the lead lobbyist for the wholesaler’s winning position against the people of Maryland and their right to a free market. All jokes aside at this point- it’s ridiculous this guy is even allowed to drive into the city of Annapolis. Hey, at least he apparently throws a great “wine” tasting.

For more great wine labels, see: www.winelabels.org
Disclaimer: In case you couldn’t tell, all information up to the discussion of the lawsuit against Bereano was fictitious. Happy April 1st!